Thursday, September 20, 2012

"Mommy Moments" One Tough Job





A few years ago when my daughter was in first grade, I went to her school to see her class receive their reading awards.  It just so happened that I ended up sitting next to the assistant teacher for her classroom.  As we were sitting there she told me that my daughter was such a delight, she was her favorite kid in the class and just loved her joy and enthusiasm for learning.  She went on to say how polite Gigi is, how well she listens and how kind she is to everyone.  This brought up two very powerful emotions for me.

I tried very hard not to let the tears welling up in my eyes spill over.  I was so proud of her and so glad that she was so well behaved while at school.  I was also very jealous.  Jealous, because someone else, everyone else it seemed, was getting to enjoy being with my daughter when she is at her best.  When she is with me she's loud, obnoxious, throws fits, picks fights with her brother, doesn't listen to a thing I say and I can teach her nothing.  She just yells at me and says she can't do it, it's too hard. 

I started to look at her very differently after that, I started to look for those parts of her that others were getting to see.  And even though she still exhibits all those annoying behaviors for me, I feel like there is much more to her than that.  I should take it as a compliment that she saves all her terrible behavior for me.  With me she feels unconditionally loved and supported, she knows I will be there to cheer her on and pick her up when she falls.  Even when she's making me crazy and I have told her for the thousandth time that she CAN do anything she puts her mind to, the message is getting through. Because she's able to do these things in my absence.

It seems that motherhood is so complicated.  We get the toughest part of the job, helping our children to be good, responsible and kind people.  We get the tantrums. yelled at, argued with, disobeyed, told we aren't listening and ignored.  But at the end of the day the messages we are sending are somehow getting through.  So no matter how frustrated I get saying the same things over and over, I'm going to keep saying them.  Some how it is making a difference. 

If you have any "Mommy Moments" you would like to share PLEASE do, we would love to hear your voice!



                                                                 Seana Pin It

4 comments:

  1. This is soooooo true!!!!! At least you know that afterall she's listening to you. :)

    Thanks so much for sharing this at The DIY Dreamer.. From Dream To Reality!

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  2. Seana, I really liked your post. It reminded me of when my boys were in kindergarten and the teacher awarded "happy day" tickets everyday unless you did something wrong. It drove me crazy (as a clinician) because it sent such a confusing message. Who the heck is "happy" everyday? Being happy has nothing to do with being compliant and having good behavior. Anyway, my point is that depending on the child, a classroom setting can feel stressful. Home is where your daughter might feel truly free to let out her feelings after all that "good" behavior at school. I think the most important thing is to "see" the whole child, and not get caught up in labels. At least that's what worked for me. BTW- I love your idea about sharing Mommy moments! Leslie (aka Gwen Moss blog)

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  3. Leslie, you are so right it is hard to be good all the time. My daughter definitely feels free to let it out at home lol! Please share any Mommy Moments you have, we would love to hear them.

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